Eternal Families—Temple Sealings

What does being “sealed” mean?  If a couple is sealed in the temple, along with their children, what happens if they divorce?  Can people who have been married in the temple and later divorced get remarried in the temple?   If a couple is sealed in the temple and one parent or the other passes on to eternity and the other parent re-marries and has children with the new spouse, what happens then?  Is the new family sealed together also?  If everyone lives on earth as they should and they all are united with Heavenly Father, what happens with the "mixed" family?

These are all questions that readers have asked with regard to eternal families and temple sealings.  In a world full of “mixed families”, it is only natural that these questions should arise when trying to understand the sealing ordinance performed in the LDS church (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints).  These questions also stem from viewing sealings as simply being eternally bound to one another.  While a sealing is, indeed, a binding both on earth and for eternity of two individuals, it is so much more than that.  So, beyond the logistics or protocol of who can be sealed to whom, understanding the purpose of the sacred sealing ordinance is so much more enlightening.  Therefore, I will begin by addressing the first question—What does being sealed mean—and explaining the sealing ordinance and the teachings upon which it is founded.  So this is how I see it . . . .

What does being sealed mean?

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we do not feel that life ends with death of the mortal body.  We see mortal life as a very small speck of time along the continuum of eternal life.  The choices we make here, in this mortal life, are based on our understanding of eternal life before and after this mortal life.  In other words, we are eternal beings, living eternal lives, not just mortal ones.  So, when we make decisions with regard to family (e.g., marriage, child-bearing, etc.), we view those as eternal commitments, not just mortal ones.

We also value accountability, responsibility, and commitment.  We accept that we are agents, and that Christ’s atoning sacrifice allows us to be such.  So, when we are married in the temple (i.e., sealed to our spouse), we are covenanting to both be committed to and to take responsibility for that person not only for this life, but for eternity.  The same is true when we are sealed to our children, or bear children under the covenant (i.e., bearing of children to parents that have already been sealed to each other):  we are covenanting to be responsible for those children not only for this life, but for eternity.  Consequently, the idea of just giving up on a marriage or on one’s children, because it’s “too hard” or because there are “other things one wants instead” is not viewed as acceptable behavior.  As such, a sealing cancelation is not taken lightly and can be difficult to obtain and requires the consent of both parties involved as well as approval from the leaders of the church.  Couples are always encouraged to work to salvage their marriage whenever possible.

Because we view families in this way, sealings transcend death.  For example, if a sealed couple bears children under the covenant, and the mother dies in child-birth, her mothering responsibilities toward her children have not ended.  By being sealed to those children, she has covenanted to accept an eternal responsibility for rearing those children.  I (as well as likely many other Mormons) believe that this is one way in which guardian angels come into play.  The deceased can continue to watch over, protect, and guide those to whom they have been sealed or have been given a particular responsibility or stewardship.  Similarly, if a child, who has been sealed to his/her parents, dies prematurely, that does not end his/her parents’ responsibility to rear that child.  LDS parents of deceased children understand that despite the death of their child’s mortal body, that child continues to live and remains a part of their family, continuing to be the responsibility of those parents.  (You may visit the blog of my friend, Stephanie, to see how she and her husband have continued to raise their sweet daughter, Camille, who died two years ago at about 14 months of age, and how Camille continues to watch over her family from beyond the veil at http://adailyscoop.blogspot.com/).

In addition to a sealing binding people together eternally, and in addition to a sealing being a covenant between people to take responsibility for one another, a sealing is also a covenant with the Lord, that with it brings blessings with regard to exaltation promised by the Lord.  Part of the reason that we call this ordinance being “sealed” is because it refers to the fact that the Lord is putting His seal or stamp of approval upon the covenant you are making (see the article I reference below).  Children born in the covenant or sealed to their parents are entitled to those promised blessings even if their parents divorce.

So, now that we better understand what the sealing is and why it is performed, let’s address the questions of how the sealing “works” after divorce or death of a spouse/parent:

DIVORCED

If a couple is sealed in the temple, along with their children, what happens if they divorce?  Can people who have been married in the temple and later divorced get remarried in the temple?

If a couple is sealed in the temple, have children, and then later obtain a civil divorce, they remain sealed to one another and their children remain sealed to both parents.  If the couple no longer wants to be sealed to one another, they can request a sealing cancelation from the church.  Such a cancellation requires consent from both the husband and the wife as well as approval from the leaders of the church.  If granted, the couple will no longer be sealed to one another, but their children will remain sealed to both their parents.  If either of the parents remarry, they can, with approval, be sealed to their new spouse. 

WIDOWED

 If a couple is sealed in the temple and one parent or the other passes on to eternity and the other parent re-marries and has children with the new spouse, what happens then?  Is the new family sealed together also?  If everyone lives on earth as they should and they all are united with Heavenly Father, what happens with the "mixed" family?

I started answering this question and it got very confusing to read, because I was trying to be gender-neutral, as the question is written.  So, to make this easier to read, I am going to respond to it as though the mother of the first marriage died: 

If a mother dies, the couple will remain sealed to each other and to their children.  If the father remarries and is sealed to his new wife, and if they have more children of their own, those children will be sealed to their parents as well.  Additionally, because the new wife is sealed to her husband, and the husband is already sealed to his children from his first marriage, there is no need for the new wife to be directly sealed to the children from the first marriage, as she is taking on the responsibility of helping rear her husband’s children by being sealed to him (you could say, that in this sense, the new wife is sealed to her husband’s children through her sealing to their father who, in turn, is sealed to the children).  This, however, does not take away or void the children’s natural mother’s responsibility associated with her sealing to her children and husband.

OTHER MIXED FAMILYL SCENARIOS

Although these other scenarios were not addressed in questions from readers, I thought I would address them, in case any of you may be wondering about them:  What about sealings for adopted children or other children with additional living parents that are not members of the church?

Children who have been legally adopted can be sealed to their adoptive parents and enjoy all the blessings that they would have received, had they been born under the covenant.  Additionally, if a mother/father has a child with someone who is not a member of the church and later marries and is sealed to someone else, that child can, if he/she desires to and with the permission of the natural parent, be sealed to his/her parents that are sealed to each other.

While these different scenarios give a general idea of how specific sealing situations may generally be handled, it is important to note that every sealing is assessed individually and approved/denied according to the individual circumstances of that particular situation and the choices of those who are involved.  Such a sacred ordinance could not, and should not, be approached otherwise.  Understanding that a sealing is a covenant that involves responsibility, commitment, and promised blessings brings to light the fact that who you are sealed to is not as important as the covenants you make with and receive from the Lord and the individuals to whom you are sealed.  Anyway, I hope that this helps clarify understanding of the sealing ordinance and its purpose and how it is applied in specific scenarios.  There is a wonderful article on sealings here for your reference with even more specific information on the covenants and promises involved in sealings.  It also addresses how sealings affect people individually and collectively.  Please let me know if you have any more questions or comments.